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What happened in Season Three?
So if I am going to try to recap Season Three, I’m going to test myself a little and see what I remember from this season. It’s been probably several years since I’ve rewatched season three. In fact, it probably marks the last time I was bothered to rewatch the previous seasons in preparation for… Continue reading
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210 – Valar Morghulis
Here we are at the end: Valar Morghulis. No, these contrite words are not a sincere expression at my forlorn nature at the distance we shall experience over the next ten months until Season Three comes heralding our reunion. Continue reading
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209 – Blackwater
What a fantastic episode. Well worth saving all the battle budget for this. In honour of the expense put forth by HBO for all those fireworks and gory deaths, this recap will have its own brand of pomp and flash via animated gifs. Oh no, you’ve not wandered into a Tumblr blog, you’ve wandered into awesome. Continue reading
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208 – The Prince of Winterfell
Again, like last week, our title wears itself like flesh-coloured pantyhose over the face of a would-be thief: it blurs a little, but doesn’t really obscure much. The Prince of Winterfell is Theon. Or Bran. (Or perhaps even Rickon.) Are we supposed to use this to draw parallels between the two? Put them in contrast to… Continue reading
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207 – A Man Without Honor
Our eponymous “Man Without Honor” clearly wants to be that sweet, shackled beefcake, Jaime Lannister (who wouldn’t?); so much so, in fact, that when Catelyn says something along the lines of you are a man without honor you want to heartily exclaim “Hey! That’s the name of the episode!” I’m starting to wonder what effort they’re… Continue reading
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206 – The Old Gods and the New
Fun fact: The guillotine was invented by a guy named Guillotine (just like Morse invented Morse code and Plato invented the plate*) as a humane method of execution. That fact always seemed a little counterintuitive, but then someone like Theon “Butterknife” Greyjoy really makes things click. Theon’s inability to behead Neck Beard swiftly was perhaps the most efficient… Continue reading
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205 – The Ghost of Harrenhal
So who is the titular Ghost of Harrenhal? I think the show wants us to think it is Jaqen, the silent, deadly killer. But it could also be Arya. Not necessarily Arya, the flesh and blood girl, but Arya Stark, the name, title, and all that inherent baggage. She is ever-present, but not. Continue reading
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204 – Garden of Bones
In addition to sounding like an early heavy metal album you’d find in an old record shop discount bin, “Garden of Bones” references Qarth, “the greatest city that ever was or will be.” It’s an easy claim to make for a place that surely wouldn’t even let the Guiness World Records judges inside the gates. Instead,… Continue reading
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203 – What is Dead May Never Die
It seems I’ve inadvertently started some sort of structural tic where I begin by discussing the significance of the episode’s title. Other than sounding like something a mobster says before spitting on a corpse, this week’s epigrammatic adventure takes us into the dark heart of the baptismal rite of the Iron Islands. Continue reading
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202 – The Night Lands
In an exercise in subtlety, this week’s episode gets its name from the Dothraki term for Death. Appropriate though, since the infanticidal shenanigans make their presence felt through this week’s episode like ripples in a pond. Along with more infanticide (this time Crastor’s baby boys as tribute to the undead, rather than Robert’s illegitimate children as tribute to… Continue reading
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201 – The North Remembers
Anyway, since this season focuses on clashes between kings [spoiler…?], what are we really dealing with? This episode sets it up quite nicely: power struggles. Although Cersei makes a convincing argument otherwise, Petyr Baelish’s assertion that “Knowledge is Power” is not incorrect; “The North Remembers” is chock full of subtle reminders that power is more complex than a… Continue reading
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Ready for Season Two?
So. Here we are. Season Two. We’ve got some new cast members. We’ve got some more kings. I’m not going to repeat what everyone else on the internet is offering, which is summaries of every new character, predictions from people who’ve not read the books, and all that jazz. So what am I thinking we can expect? Continue reading
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110 – Fire and Blood
Season One flew by quickly, didn’t it? Can hardly believe this is The End. Season Two can’t come soon enough! For those of you thinking that Ned might somehow survive a beheading, well, he didn’t. Yup… Ned is definitely dead. Fo sho. And what a way to end the season… without anything really ending. In… Continue reading
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109 – Baelor
This was the episode that make my mum go “If you had told me it was going to end that way, I never would have started watching!” Well, Mum, I counter with the words of Dr. Roommate: “Come for Sean Bean, stay for the stories.” As I’m wracking my brain in search of a Sean… Continue reading
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108 – The Pointy End
Following Ned Stark’s imprisonment for treason due to Littlefinger’s Inevitable Betrayal (make sure to order your “Free Ned” t-shirts now!), the Official Royal Court Press Releases are delivered via raven across the Seven Kingdoms. The armies are now moving across the giant RISK board and alliances are formed and threatened. Continue reading
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107 – You Win or You Die
Littlefinger is right Ned. He did warn you. Seriously. It’s like Petyr’s playing poker with his cards face-up and yet Ned still manages to lose. The climax of the season is settling into place: the king is dead and now the game of succession can truly begin. On one hand, it’s the fruition of various slowburning plots; on… Continue reading
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106 – A Golden Crown
This episode functions as a lesson in metonymy. When you ask for a “crown” from someone who doesn’t speak your language, you might want to be clear on the distinction between “literal” and “figurative.” Just sayin’. While Viserys gets his literal crown of molten gold, Ned gets the figurative crown by way of a shitload… Continue reading
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105 – The Wolf and the Lion
Ignoring the emo mopes of the Wall and the wanton nudity of Vaes Dothrak, “The Wolf and the Lion” focuses our attention back on the scheming, seducing, and political machinations going on at King’s Landing. Without focus on the bastards & cripples and freaks & geeks, the rest of the show seems like a historical version of highschool: raging hormones, catty rumours, fights… Continue reading
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104 – Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things
As promised after the pieces moved into place last episode, the plot hath thickened. I am really starting to appreciate the ensemble nature of it all. While at times it can seem overwhelming, even when you’re familiar with the books, I finally feel as though the show has caught up with itself. All the backstory and intrigue… Continue reading
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103 – Lord Snow
Now that everyone seems to be where they need to be (both characters and audience), we finally have the overwhelming feeling that the shit is about to hit the fan. Which, if you’ve read the books, you know it does. Over and over and over again. Jon is on the Wall; Ned is in King’s… Continue reading
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102 – The Kingsroad
Following the aftermath of a young child being unceremoniously pushed from a window (Jaime Lannister doesn’t look so hot anymore, eh? Nah, who am I kidding… he’s still bloody gorgeous), Sean Bean is riding back to the capital, King’s Landing, to take over duties as the Hand of the King. He takes with him his two daughters,… Continue reading
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101 – Winter is Coming
There will be spoilers, so be warned. Also, this might be called a “recap,” but really, it’s my own insane commentary. That isn’t really saying anything either a) informative, or b) enlightened. Perhaps not even c) entertaining, but I can try. While I have read George R.R. Martin, this will not (always) be a rant… Continue reading
About Me
An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration. (Note: this About Me was placeholder text plugged in by the blog theme designer but fuck it, I’m keeping it.)
Game of Thrones Irreverent Recaps 